


#9

by Schweet



Series: What Would I Even Tell Her [9]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, F/F, Original work - Freeform, Toxic Relationship, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:27:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22307920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schweet/pseuds/Schweet
Summary: Edit- July 21st, 2020 (updated to be better)
Series: What Would I Even Tell Her [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605673
Kudos: 1





	#9

**Author's Note:**

> Edit- July 21st, 2020 (updated to be better)

Hello Elizabeth

I swear She took a piece of me

And I don't know how to get that piece back

Five Years and I'm still missing a part of myself

I yell and scream and laugh

I'm loud and take up too much space

Just to keep you from noticing how I'm missing that piece

That oh so vital piece of my heart

Behind the smokescreen is a child desperate to survive

A child who was shattered by the girl she valued the most

Trusted the most

Loved

The most

She took that piece and I don't know where to find it

Did She bury it under a bush by Her pool where we spent our summer days?

The pool where the red haired boy splashed us in the glorious victory his height advantage over us ensured?

Did She sink it in the river, tied to a stone as heavy as my heart that day She left me?

The river where Her brother carried me after I sprained my ankle when we ran through the Potomac with our plastic tubes as our only protection from the lightning forking the sky?

Did She box it up and hide it in her attic to run from the shame of Her words?

The shame She refused to show, instead covering up with the loudest laughter in the room?

Did She put it on a stand, protect it with glass, and place it by Her bedside?

The bedside where we watched Clueless together and I felt like a real human and valid person for the first time in my life?

Does She stare at it every night and smile at the destruction She wrought?

The destruction she refused to admit She created?

Does She stare at it and miss me?

Does She ever miss me?

_Has She ever missed me?_

I miss Her every day

I think about Her everyday

I see an orange shirt on the rack at the mall and suddenly I'm fifteen and heart broken again standing in the hallway of my highschool

She stole a piece of me and I've never replaced it

I don't know how to

I don't know if I even want to

I hate the pain

But

Who am I without it


End file.
